Sticks and Stones.....

Bullying is in the national spotlight and rightfully so.  Most of you who read my pathetic pennings in this forum grew up as I, "Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  Our parents, for the most part, saw the insensitivity, sarcasm and unkindness in these verbal barrages, but bought into it as a sort of "rite of passage."  Something that would toughen us up for the long haul to maturity.  Something that would help us build defense mechanisms for later and the hard, cruel world.  Seems logical.  Seems as if it makes sense.  But the world has changed and we know more about child psychology and sociology than ever before.  We have the results of years of study of the damage insidious bullying, with words, can cause. “Being bullied is not just an unpleasant rite of passage through childhood,” said Duane Alexander, M.D., director of the NICHD. “It’s a public health problem that merits attention. People who were bullied as children are more likely to suffer from depression and low self esteem, well into adulthood, and the bullies themselves are more likely to engage in criminal behavior later in life.” 
Some of you reading this will immediately look at our own experience and proclaim, "Hey, I went through it and look how I turned out?"  And maybe, you have healed.  Maybe other things in your life have been able to replace the shame and guilt of those years that you were under the terror of another.  Or, maybe you were very lucky and it never happened to you.  But, disregarding the evidence of what it does to people short and long term would be criminal of us.  Pair that with the ability of bullies now to offend and disparage with the social media and this is an issue we just cannot dismiss anymore as "Sticks and Stones..".  We have to be conscious of it, we have to be active in finding ways to help the perpetrators understand the hurt they create.  Want some real facts about bullying in our country?  Here they are and they are eye-opening:

77 percent of students say they have been bullied at least once in the past year

35 percent of students say they have been bullied in the last month

22 percent of students say they have been depressed enough to think of hurting themselves due to constant harassment

86% of students said, “other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them” causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.

Bullying statistics shows that those who bully and are bullied appear to be at greatest risk of experiencing the following: loneliness; trouble making friends; lack of success in school; and involvement in problem behaviors such as smoking and drinking.

54% said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.

According to bullying statistics , one out of every 10 students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying.

Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75 percent of school-shooting incidents.


These are national statistics, however, they are statistics that must lead us to a proactivity in dealing with this problem.

But there are slippery difficulties in attacking this.  First, defining what exactly bullying is has many obstacles.  When we identified bullying strictly as physical, it was easy.  We cannot do that any more.  Here is as good a definition as any:

"Bullying involves a desire to hurt + hurtful action + a power imbalance + (typically) repetition + an unjust use of power + evident enjoyment by the aggressor and a sense of being oppressed on the part of the victim."

How can this definition help ? In the first place, it warns us against a too simplistic a view of what bullying is. We will be less inclined to think that to counter bullying we must believe in the perfectibility of the human race. Christianity has tried for thousands of years to correct our aberrant and distasteful behavior and yet the prisons and papers are full of our frailties.  Secondly, it helps us to focus upon a sub-category of aggressive behavior which almost everyone abhors: the unjust use of force by more powerful persons or groups. We should remind ourselves that what appears "justified" is constantly shifting. If we are to understand and help we need to be cautious in appraising just where differences in power lie. The imbalances may be subtle. Finally, it suggests that we should monitor the emotional reactions of the perpetrator and remember that they can change; and also tune in to the feelings of being oppressed that victims invariably feel, often, but not always, with strong justification.

So - we have a definition with caveats that warn to be fluid and evaluate both the situation and the players in any bullying event.   Now what?  Our difficulty in school is both systematic and logistic.  Where do most of the events take place?  Here are the stats for a high school-aged student:

Overall bullying - 41 percent through social media, 29 percent outside of school, 30 percent in school.

    Social media - 72 percent through face book or other social network accounts, 22 percent through text or cell phone, 8 percent other.

   Outside of school - 68 percent at social functions directly for high school students, 23 percent at retail and restaurants, 9 percent other.

   At school - 75 percent outside the classroom, 25 percent within the classroom.

        Outside the classroom identified as hallways, bathrooms, cafeteria, locker room, etc.

So now we know what it is and where it happens - now what?  With the above statistics in tow, there are several things that have been done and can be done. 

1.  Policy - We have a bullying policy that was adopted by the school board this past summer. I have attached our adopted policy in the column to the right of the blog. It allows a hierarchy of discipline and protects all students.  The language is as explicit as it can be with the difficulty of defining and locating the event.  At the high school, we use the discipline matrix and our discretion to deal with and mete out consequences.

2.  Education - We have had one TAP seminar in relation to bullying and will continue to refresh both staff and students on this issue.  Next week, I will address the entire student body.  In the future, I plan to adopt with the help of our counselors, some programming that consistently and appropriately helps lead students to kind and "Golden Rule" choices.

3.  Parental intervention - above, you can see that 70 percent of bullying occurs outside of school.  If that is the case, we have to rely upon parents to help regulate, identify and correct behaviors.  You can also see that a large percentage of bullying is now occurring through cyberspace.  I have had this conversation with parents and on several occasions the response has been, "I am treading on their privacy."  I am perplexed?  I will only speak for myself, but my children will either divulge every bit of information I wish to have whenever I wish, or the will have not access or technology to use.  We HAVE to monitor what is going on in these communications.  The safety of your sons and daughters is at stake along with the issue of bullying.  Just watch 15 minutes of, "To Catch a Predator" some time.  If you don't know what is going on in your son's and daughter's cyber-lives, you don't know them at all. 

4.  Persistence.   Staff have to be aware and deal with these issues.  Even absorbing parental criticism when the acts may seem trivial.  Students who observe bullying occurring and do not assist the victim or report it are buying into the culture. Students have to either handle it, walk away, or report it.  Certainly, we hope students have enough esteem to not allow a bully's words to have affect on them - but if it is not the case, it has to be reported.  Immediately.  If it is texted or emailed, it has to be printed and given to a teacher or administrator or a parent.  Allowing it to go on and on without dealing or notifying will only make it worse later on.

 I have to say, with these issues - harassment, particular - because it is sometimes hard to detect or define, raising the level of consciousness can have the effect of making "everything" an issue of bullying.  So be it.  Is it better to have a tormented student react in a tragic way that deeply affects all we do forever - or is it better to take seriously even those small incidents that may be very borderline in effect and take up some part of a day to fix?    At Harrisburg High School, we will take each and every case seriously and do our best not only to protect and assist victims, but to show perpetrators the error of their ways and attempt to move them to more positive futures.   

But it can't be done without all of you out there.  We will do our part.  But please examine what really is going on as objectively as you can.  Don't lose the prism of love and affection you look through regarding your sons and daughters.  It is natural to defend and advocate for them.  But any level of discomfort another is feeling because of the words, intonations, gossip, rumor-spread, etc. - will be dealt with here as bullying.  We are very simply a no-bullying zone.   Talk to your sons and daughters about it.  Raise their level of awareness.  We have well-intentioned people with big hearts.  No one wants to see a student attending Harrisburg High School with dread, with fear, intimidated.  No one would wish that on any student.  It will take all of us to make that so.

Parent-Teacher Conferences will be held in the High School Commons beginning at 2:00 PM until 8:30 PM on Thursday evening.  I hope you will all be able to attend.

Veteran's day is November 11th.  Freedom comes at a cost.  A sacrifice of youth, a sacrifice of time and innocence…and tragically, a sacrifice of life.  It is only right that we celebrate and honor those sacrifices.   Our engagements around the world, have preserved and created freedoms for millions..  We pay our debt, and we pay our respect with humility on November 11th.   Harrisburg High will  hope that this humble thanks lingers with us every day of our lives, and continues to be and inspires us to the righteous acts modeled by those we honor on Veteran's Day.    A long-standing Harrisburg tradition will be paired with what is hoped will be a traditional event is scheduled for Harrisburg High School, November 11^th.    A Veteran’s Day program featuring Mr. Clarence Kooistra will begin at 10:00 AM in the large theater.  Mr. Kooistra, a veteran marine of the Vietnam War and a Garretson teacher of 35 years will be the keynote speaker.   The high school band, choir, trumpeters and much more will be included in the 45-minute program honoring our country’s heroes.

      At noon, in the high school commons, the traditional pre-Thanksgiving meal for citizen citizens will be held at noon.  Turkey and all the fixin’s will be free of charge to any Harrisburg District resident senior citizen.  The senior high choir will perform also.

       The Veteran’s Day program is open to the public.  Doors will open to the theater at 9:00 AM.

As play-offs begin in volleyball and football, remember that passes will not be honored.  These events are sponsored by the SDHSAA and all attendees will have to purchase a ticket.  Tuesday night, adults are $5 and Kids are $3.  Kick off is at 6:30 vs. Vermillion.   The game will also be on 1230 AM and 1570 AM radio.

Students who are using the NovaNet system of curriculum delivery will not receive quarter grades.  As this system is for credits upon completion, when completed they will receive semester grades only.  Students at the CTE academy will receive quarter grades.  Grades will be finalized on Wednesday this week.

Another plea to remind all drivers to pay special attention in and around our school.  As I mentioned earlier, we have asked the local police to patrol whenever possible and we will not hesitate to take numbers of offending autos and pass on to the local authorities.  It has happened a few times already.  Please take care.  An automobile can be a weapon.  Don't use it that way.

Remember that the Sioux Valley News covers our high school with a two-page insert each week.  If you desire a subscription, please get in touch with them.  They are always looking for advertisers as well.

Events this week at Harrisburg High School:

Monday - BEGINNING OF A NEW QUARTER

                   Red Ribbon Week - Drug and Alcohol Awareness

                   4:15 - 9th football at Sioux Falls Washington(end of season)

                   5:00 Volleyball - Vermillion - Home

                   6:30 - Board Meeting  -  Liberty Library

Tuesday -  8:10 - ASVAB testing - all juniors - gymnasium

                   12:30 - All School Assembly - Red Ribbon Week

                   4:00 - After School Novice Interp. at Sioux Falls

                   6:30 - Football playoffs vs. Vermillion - Home - No passes accepted

Wednesday - 8:30- All State Chorus performance - large theater - open to the public

Thursday - Early Release - 1:05

                    Parent-Teacher Conferences - 2:00-8:30 - High School Commons

Friday - No Classes

               SDHSAA All State Chorus and Orchestra - Aberdeen

Saturday - SDHSAA All State Chorus and Orchestra - Aberdeen(can be seen on public TV)

                   9:00 - Oral Interpretation - Yankton

Sunday - Halloween!!!

"Beware those things that disturb direction, the path away must be recovered and that time spent is lost indeed."